HELP AND ADVICE FOR DIVORCING DADS IN THE UK

Dads Divorcing UK

From the minute you decide you’re separating to the years that follow

Why have I decided to start this movement

I decided to leave my ex in 2019. I sort therapy at the end of 2019 to make sure I was doing the right thing after years of mental abuse. I wasn’t sure if it was me that was the issue, or if I was being subjected to normal behaviour or gaslighting controlling behaviour.

It soon became clear throughout my sessions that I was sane, which was pleasant to hear. It was quickly established that I was being subjected on a daily basis to behaviours that were not normal. Friends told to not call me, arrangements being made on days we would normally go to see the children’s grandparents and calls and text messages any time I decided to go and see my friends.

I initially tried to leave in January of 2020 and was faced with what I can only describe as the porthole into the future if I did leave.

If you leave I will take you for the children and the house and destroy you!

COVID then hit and I was then out of work. I applied for Amazon to support the family through this time. Working from 6pm to 6am, slept until 8am when my ex left for work, then looking after the children until 3pm grabbed a couple of hours sleep before going back to work. It got to July and she was leaving for work and started shouting and swearing about something spilled on the floor, as I stood up I stood on a spoon in a cereal bowl, this flicked cereal up onto the ceiling, on the TV and then she got really mad.

This was the day I left, I took the children to my parents. When she returned from work I was getting calls and messages, threatening to call the police, saying I had abducted the children without her permission.

This was the pattern that ensued, I feared for my children and myself throughout and rightfully too. She never let up, she threw every possible slant about me and it still has not stopped.

• I was accused of being a drug addict
  • The courts order me to take a hair strand test
    • This was negative
• I was accused of pushing her into a door
  • I was arrested in front of the children
    • I was then found not guilty
• I was accused of beating the children
  • Social Services were called in
    • The closed the file within a few months
• I was accused of not caring properly while they were in my care
  • The court appointed CAFCASS (more about this later)
    • The Section 7 addendum noted the FCA had not seen the children so relaxed and happy
• I have been reported to:
  • HMRC
  • DWP
  • CMS
  • Police
    • All of which being accused of things that fortunately were entirely unproven and false.

I have to make sure, as I vowed when this was all going on to me that I will do my best to never let this happen to another dad if I can help it. The system is not entirely rigged in the women’s favour, the courts do not always side with the mum, social services are human. The only parts of this system that are bias and not everyone within these two organisations are, are the police and CAFCASS. I will give you specific advice on how to protect yourself when dealing with CAFCASS, I can offer no advice in regards to the police, they are corrupt and they are bias and they are utterly hopeless at their jobs in terms of domestic issues, unless you’re female. I have two police officers that both openly admitted that they are instructed to deal with complaints about men by women differently than if a man makes a complaint about a woman.